Thoughtful Thursday: Episode 7
Welcome to Thoughtful Thursday’s, a weekly series where we explore our brains, one thought at a time.
Hi Everyone: Welcome to Thoughtful Thursdays. Not the kind of thoughtful like “oh you brought me flowers just because it’s Tuesday, how thoughtful '' No, this is where we will explore our thoughts and how they move us forward or hold us back.
Today’s topic is the power of “no”
This is a really interesting topic because it’s something that is very difficult for most. The ability to say no is not comfortable for some, especially if you are a people pleaser. We somehow think that if we say no to something or someone that we have to follow it up with an explanation. “No, I can’t help you with that because (fill in the blank). But the reality is that saying no is a decision you make for yourself and nobody needs an explanation.
For many when they say no they make it mean something like you’re not interested, or not helpful but the reality is that you get to make decisions about where you want to spend your time and with whom. I remember a time when I said yes to everyone and everything thinking I was doing good. If someone was in need I would put their needs before mine, especially if it was family. I soon found out that I didn’t have enough energy or time to do my own things. It took a long time for me to be able to say no without an explanation. I hear my friends make things up when they get invited to something by someone that they would rather not socialize with which just starts down that path of having to remember what you told them which adds even more stress. For me, if someone I don’t care to socialize with invites me to something I simply say, thank you for the invitation but I’ll pass, end of story. If someone asks me to help them with something and I really want to help but the day and time don’t work, I simply say “I would love to help but that day and time doesn’t work how about…? No explanation is necessary. There is a power that comes with the ability to control your world and your time. To do what works for you and to surround yourself with people that fill you up. Some might think it’s selfish and if taking care of yourself is selfish then I say BRING IT ON.
Is it difficult for you to say no? Why?
This holiday season, practice saying no to others and yes to yourself.
Until we meet again, choose your thoughts, they are all yours.
Kim Jolicoeur is a Certified Life and Stop Overdrinking Coach helping people regain control of their lives, one thought at a time. For a free consultation go to kimjolicoeurcoaching.com.