Thoughtful Thursday: Episode 5
Hi Everyone: Welcome to Thoughtful Thursday’s, a weekly series where we explore our brains, one thought at a time. Not the kind of thoughtful like “oh you brought me flowers just because it’s Tuesday, how thoughtful '' No, this is where we will explore our thoughts and how they move us forward or hold us back.
Today’s topic is decisions.
I remember years ago hearing Tony Robbins say “decisions are like muscles, if you don’t exercise them often you lose your ability to use them”. That kinda hits home right now because I’ve always been very active. Lifting weights, taking spin class, doing yoga, riding my bike, and hiking. Very active. But in the last 8 months, all of my structured classes have been canceled and I’m not very good at being self-motivated to go lift weights. To be honest, I haven’t wanted to do anything in a closed-up building, and while I’ve only gained a few pounds on the scale, I’ve lost all of my muscle tones! It’s crazy how many years I’ve spent laying the foundation for a healthy body structure and it only took 8 months for most of it to disappear. Oh well, I’ll get it back and that will be a topic for another day.
But today I want to talk about decisions. Decisions are not easy for people because they can’t be assured that they are making the “right” decision. But what if there were no “wrong” decisions? Stay with me here. Many times people have a plan for the way things are “supposed” to go and they build this story in their minds and if it doesn’t go the way they had envisioned, they blame decisions. “I should have made a different decision”, “ If I had only left 5 minutes earlier”. We even do it when things go the way we planned by joyfully saying “I’m so happy I made the right decision”. Second-guessing is never good. It continues to keep you in the land of indecision and isn’t that an awful place to be. How much energy we waste by not making decisions and then fretting about it. We worry about the looming event that requires a decision. It feels heavy. And for some people, it can be as simple as what to order in a restaurant. Oh please, have you ever been with that person that makes the server come back three times because they still haven’t decided? Come on, get the burger and fries, enjoy it, and move on. For others, it’s a major life event like moving or leaving a relationship. The time in between the first thought and the actual decision is painful.
But notice what happens when you make the decision and then you start down the path to complete whatever it is. Now you have a plan. Now you are not looking back because you have work to do. Now you’re focused and the weight is lifted. But what if you could do that immediately every time you have to make a decision? If someone guaranteed you that you would always make the right decision would you make decisions faster? With more confidence? Not second-guessing yourself? Did you feel that? Did you feel the weight get lifted when I suggested that you would be guaranteed there are no wrong decisions? Oh yeah, you’re a decision making machine now. You’re making things happen, you’re decision muscle is getting stronger. You’re not looking for evidence that you made a “right” or “wrong” decision because you know you can find evidence for both if you look hard enough. It’s called the internet! I digress.
Decisions are up to you and if you have been reading my blogs, you already know that you get to think whatever you want so you can decide right now, that there are no wrong decisions. That whatever the outcome it was the right decision AT THE TIME. Second-guessing isn’t fair because you have information, after the fact, that you didn’t have at the time you made the decision. When you keep yourself in the painful land of indecision because you can’t tell the future isn’t fair to you. You deserve to free yourself of the indecision weight.
Think of a decision you’ve been putting off because you’re afraid of making the wrong decision. Now...decide. Don’t question it, just decide. Feel the weight lift. Now, the minute you make the decision your brain will want to pull you back into “what if that was the wrong decision” but that is just your human brain doing its thing. Assure your brain that you’ve got this and it can relax.
Until we meet again, choose your thoughts, they are all yours.
Kim Jolicoeur is a Certified Life and Stop Overdrinking Coach helping people regain control of their lives, one thought at a time. For a free consultation go to kimjolicoeurcoaching.com.