Thoughtful Thursday: Episode 4
Welcome to Thoughtful Thursday’s, a weekly series where we explore our brains, one thought at a time.
Hi Everyone: Welcome to Thoughtful Thursdays. Not the kind of thoughtful like “oh you brought me flowers just because it’s Tuesday, how thoughtful '' No, this is where we will explore our thoughts and how they move us forward or hold us back.
Today’s topic is the 50/50 rule.
OK, so this is a really interesting concept. One that I had to really think about because it blew away many of the beliefs that I had about being happy, so find a comfy spot and read on.
The 50/50 rule says that 50% of your life will suck!! Yup, S.U.C.K! But...50% of your life will be amazing. Great news, right? Well I didn’t think so either because who wants to have any part of their life suck? For years I’ve been the “think positive thoughts” girl. I’ve been the “look for the silver lining” girl, I’ve been the “well the good news is” girl. And I can still be that girl, but here is what changed for me when I accepted the 50/50 rule, I let go of thinking something has gone wrong because some things in my life suck. Before when things were falling apart the world seemed cruel. I thought it was me. I thought I had done something or had NOT done something that is why the wheels were falling off the bus. But when I allowed for the possibility that this is part of the human experience and nothing has gone wrong I got this sense of peace. This feeling that I was right on track even if the track was bumpy.
Our brains want to tell us stories about how we “should” be different, “should” do things differently, “should” be more like someone else. All the stories. But when you accept that being a human means that you will have to get comfortable with being uncomfortable your world will open. You will look for the lessons in each experience, bad or good. You will learn from all of those experiences and grow. Now you may not want to grow and be uncomfortable and that is your choice, but if you’re going to come out of the cave and live in the world things will be uncomfortable. But if you don’t play the victim when times are hard and you tell yourself “of course this is hard, it’s the human experience, nothing has gone wrong” you will find the strength to get to the other side where you can have the amazing 50%.
Think back on a time when things were really tough for you. Where you wondered if you would ever get through it. I felt that way when my mother passed away and then my father 10 months later. I thought I would never breathe again but here I am, breathing. Now think of a time when things were amazing. You were almost afraid to be too happy for fear that you would jinx it. Both of those experiences have a place in your life.
Knowing the 50/50 rule will free you. It will let you go into the world and try new things knowing that if it feels uncomfortable and if the results suck, NOTHING HAS GONE WRONG.
The next time things are tough and you start to ask “why me” just say to yourself “of course this is happening, I am a perfect human being”.
Until we meet again, choose your thoughts, they are all yours.
Kim Jolicoeur is a Certified Life and Stop Overdrinking Coach helping people regain control of their lives, one thought at a time. For a free consultation go to kimjolicoeurcoaching.com.